But just like the oxygen mask reminder on a plane, you have to care for yourself first so you can care for others well. Caring for yourself isn’t selfish—it’s essential. When you’re rested, nourished, and supported, the person you care for benefits, too.

The Impact of Caregiving on Health and Well-Being

We often hear stories like this: “My husband has Alzheimer’s, but now I’m the one in the hospital.” Sadly, that experience isn’t rare.

Studies show that caregivers—especially spouses—are at higher risk for illness, stress, and even early death. The emotional strain, long hours, and constant worry take a toll.

For caregivers in midlife, juggling work, aging parents, and children, that stress can feel overwhelming.

Many caregivers report:

• Sleep loss and fatigue

• Skipping medical appointments

• Poor eating habits

• Lack of exercise

• Putting everyone else’s needs first

Over time, these patterns can lead to chronic health issues, depression, or burnout. Nearly half of all caregivers report symptoms of clinical depression.

Taking Responsibility for Your Own Care

You can’t control a loved one’s illness—but you can take steps to protect your own well-being. Self-care starts with recognizing what gets in your way.

Ask yourself:

• What good can I do if I become too ill to help?

• Why does asking for help feel uncomfortable?

• Am I equating self-care with selfishness?

These honest questions can help you see old patterns and beliefs that may need to shift.

Common Barriers Caregivers Face

Caregivers often carry quiet expectations:

• “I’m responsible for my parents care.”

• “If I don’t do it, no one will.”

• “If I do everything right, I’ll earn love, attention and approval I deserve.”

• “I promised my father I’d always take care of my mother.”

When these thoughts take over, they can lead to guilt and exhaustion. Try reframing them with positive, realistic reminders:

• “I’m doing my best today.”

• “It’s okay to rest.”

• “Asking for help is a sign of strength.”

Your mind believes what you tell it—so speak kindly to yourself.

Moving Forward, One Step at a Time

Once you recognize your barriers, you can begin to take small, steady steps toward better balance. You don’t have to change everything at once.

Focus on a few daily habits, even if just a couple of minutes:

• Practice a few minutes of deep breathing, prayer, or meditation

• Eat nourishing meals and drink enough water

• Rest when you’re tired—not just when everything is done

• Take short walks or stretch to relieve tension

• Stay connected with friends, family, or support groups

• Talk to a counselor if you’re feeling overwhelmed

• Do something just for you—read, garden, listen to music, take a bath, call a friend

Caring for yourself helps you sustain the care you give.

Remember: It’s Not Selfish—It’s Necessary

You are responsible for your own well-being. Making time for your health, rest, and joy isn’t optional; it’s what allows you to keep showing up with compassion.

When you care for yourself, you care better for those you love.

Need Support? We’re Here.

Minnesota Hospice offers guidance, counseling, and respite support for family caregivers. You don’t have to do this alone.